I am Shri...: 2009

How I belled the CAT…

This article 'How I Belled the CAT...' is written by Shrikant N. Iyer. This amateur has also written some poems and shyari's previously which can be seen in his blog http://shreative.blogspot.com.

He has graduated from S.I.E.S engineering college with Bachelors of Engineering in IT degree.

He currently works for Softcell Technologies Limited at Mumbai.

Praises for him:-
- He’s so sweet -Indian Girls.

- My chocolaty Guy....The girls abroad.

- Our Macho Man -The active Gay community.

- Excellent works, the potential writer is here.... (This will be said after this article...lol.

How I belled the CAT…

An article by:-
Shrikant N. Iyer

I dedicate this article to my Parents, Sister without whom I wouldn't be who I am today. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank Shikha, on her constant feedback and moral support. I would also like to thank and dedicate this book to all of my friends mentioned in the group without whom my life would be dry...you all are my groovy gravy....

Dear All,

The below given article is pure fiction and any resemblance to real life is coincidental.

I know it’s not come out very well and if you don’t like it don’t suppress your feeling of hitting spoilt tomatoes and egg on the article. (PUN)

Mona wanted something to make her feel more bored so this will do just the same if you successfully read it till the end.

I wish you all the luck and excess of patience as you need an extra helping of it to completely read the article.

Those doing so, do let me know as they will be rewarded heavily.

This has taken me more than 3 days to complete and I know that I have made the middle piece dry and dull, and more comments like this are welcome as I know they mean nothing and they are just there for namesake....just kidding, each one will be welcome and will be worked upon.

Thanks in Advance, now you see the prologue is itself so huge, guess how much more of reading is left for you...he he...

Around Four months back Rajkiran and I brought the forms and filled it up...

I was keen to give the CAT, I had already missed two chances to bell it in the past, and I didn't want to let it go this time...

So, as soon as the form distribution started I brought and filled it up....

Even though I was attempting one of the toughest exams in India and should have been slogging in its preparation so that I get my form’s worth (2000 Rs.) back, I, on the contrary had not even a grain of seriousness in me regarding the prestigious exam....

As the days passed, the books that I possessed for the preparation of the entrance
Exam, which was slashed away at my home somewhere, were collecting piles of dirt upon it. I was happy at least I didn't spend on these books, those were passed on to me like an inheritance, which I too will be giving ahead when those books will become obsolete to me, i.e. when I clear any of the entrance and get into a good B-School, and at this rate I am sure even my kids won't be getting those books...grand kids, maybe...

While I mentioned B-School above I remember a funny incidence...

One evening Sagar and I were taking a stroll at Thakur Complex. Suddenly he said "Even if I get admission in a B-grade Mgmt college like IIM's I will be happy"

I didn't know what to say, so I just stared at him in astonishment, actually I didn’t understand why he said B-grade, and what on earth does he mean by B-grade IIMs. And assuming, strictly assuming if suppose - I double that, If suppose IIM were to be "B-grade" how can anyone be 'just happy'....Come on he could have said Elated, used Ecstasy, Overjoyed, but no, he said "happy"...He could have phrased, "On cloud nine", "Seventh heaven", "A dream come true" But no......

He said "I'll be happy"

I said "Excuse me", with the tips of my eyebrows standing as if I were an expert in Bharatnatyam, eyes so wide open just about to pop out and with four distinct lines on my forehead.

He then began his explanation "I have heard that IIM is a very good college and you get a high pay pack there, so..."

“Where did the B-Grade come into picture?" I queried.

"I heard it’s a good B-Grade School for Mgmt" he replied innocently.

I Laughed, and laughed and laughed some more....on the middle of the road I actually couldn't control.

"What???" was my confused friends’ reaction?

I explained "It’s not a B-grade school, Dumbo. It’s a Top class B-School. 'B-School' that is 'Business School'; top amongst many other B-Schools."

He understood his mistake and was blushing red but the best part is that he knows it now and now you all too...

Coming back to the actual story; A week before my exam my friend asked me aren't you going to apply for a leave, I rubbished him away, obviously if CAT could be cracked in a week’s time then a week before CAT would be the most leave taken week in India. (Just like Mondays the most sick leave day all over the world.)

My exam was scheduled for Sunday, 29th Nov 2009. So on Friday, I went to my friends home at 11 PM to collect some CAT preparation stuffs just for name sake as I couldn't find mine. As if the book was a Shidney Shildon’s Thriller I started reading it on the road on my way back home (Just so that people can come to know how sincere I was.)

Once at home I put the book on my table and went to sleep.... (Oh! all the reading had made me sleepy. )

I went to office on Saturday even though I easily could have skipped it. Lucky me even got to go home early, but no, who cares that tomorrow I had to bell the CAT, I started roaming out with my friends, not only that, out of all the 365 days I had to play Badminton that very day till 11 pm.

The Big day's plan was already set, that is, to get up at 10 am get ready by 1 and to leave from home for the CAT.

Surprisingly, I got up by 9 completed my morning routine by 10 and as my mom was busy with her upcoming festival work I had to prepare Maggie as a early lunch so as to reach the venue on time.

I prepared a healthy Maggie with Onions, Tomato, Coriander, Loads of Garlic and Capsicum and 4 green chillis and a healthy helping of Tofu and Loads of cheese --Yam-eee.

While I was having it, the landline came alive and I picked up and before I could say hello-

"Saale, Kute, $%%$#" I knew it was my friend, I said "Hello"

"Tera cell phone uthane nahi hota kya?" Spoke Ronak furiously.

Like all of you even he tried to call me on my cell but in vain, he gave up and called at my residence at last.

"Lunch kiya kya?" he asked.

"Kha" munch "raha hoon" munch munch - the munch was not deliberate.

"Accha niche aa, Main college ke paas hoon mujhe company de" he said.

When any one says college, it’s like understood, that the college being referred is Thakur College.

"Mera bhi aaj CAT hai" - I assumed he had given it otherwise he wouldn't come this far.

"Kya paka raha hai" said he. This has become a routine dialogue when there’s nothing much left to say.

"3:30, Main abhi nikeloonga" I said.

"Happy Birthday in Advance" was his reply.

"Chal abhi paka mat, Mil mujhe abhi thodi der ke liye, BTW how was CAT???”

"Thik tha, chal abhi paka mat aur jaldi mil"

"In 5" I said keeping the phone down and Grinned.

5 min ha ha, It will easily take me 30 min and all of my friends are aware of that.

I went down after 35 min to meet my starving friend who was frustrated because of waiting.

"Accha dikh raha hai, Gym join kiya hai kya?" Thats how you save yourself from a sound trashing.lol.

"Aur bol Neha se kab milaoon" I said. Obviously no one will dare shout at some one whos planning to fix u up with a hot girl. I use "hot" to describe all the girls whom I am about to introduce to my guy friends, hoping that they will click and get married in future and my Matrimonial will become a hit.

Anyways it was already 1 pm and as per CAT instructions I had to be there at the Venue within 30 mins but as I had already got the feedbacks that those people will make u wait for more than an hour I was pretty much relaxed.

I was taking ronak to a resturant so that he may have his lunch and half way there he changed his mind and told me "Sun, chal kuch pitein hain"

"Pagal hai kya tuu....Aade gante main mujhe exam center main jaana hai" I shouted

"Arre kuch nahi hoga, late jaa. Waise bhi khada karke rakhte hain vo log, chal abb natak mat kar, aur chal, my treat for my new bike"

TREAT....thats wat it takes to change the state of anyones mind...lol

We caught a rick went to a resturant called 'Ambience'....

"Beer Piyega???" he enquired.

"Kuch bhi chalega" Maine hami bhari . Ya rite 2 hours remaining and mujhe kuch bhi chalega it seems.

"Two Kingfisher Strong." he ordered to the waiter.

Within no time there were two big and full glasses of beer on our table with the usual chakna of cheese lings and salted groundnuts.

"Cheers" we said in unision and took the 1st sip.

I had recently learnt that once you hit cheers you must take the sip, otherwise its like an insult of the person in front of you. This I had learnt from my previous mistake.

So there I was drinking Beer with my friend half hour before my CAT.

Even though I have had a bottle of beer before for which I had had not much effect this beer was having far much effect then the previous one.

The 1st thing that you notice if you consciously drink is that your ears become numb, and hence the loss of balance and also less of hearing this is reason high people shout when they speak. Hope you all know we balance through our ears.

That sensation had been becoming prominent.

I had 1st glass and was having trouble gulping the 2nd glass, which was very new to me. I am sure that was because of the heavy lunch I had, that loads of veggy and cheese maggie and thats when I feared of puking.

I was half way through my 2nd glass when he said "Ek aur?"

"Pagal ho gaya hai kya tu, its already 1:45 and I haven't even finished the 2nd moreover I had to be there at 1:30. Just gulp it down and lets leave."

"Arre tu tension kai ko leta hai, main hoon na..." He said. When someone whos is drinking and talks in terms of "kai ko" and who adds a hindi movie name in his statements you should conclude that hes become high.

"chal, bak bak bandh kar aur pi, jaldi kar yaar!!!" I was tensed as I was already 30mins late....being late with friends is a diffrent thing going late at exam venue is totally stupidity.

Not only was I late but also drunk.

"Arre kuch hoga tho nahi na??? Unhe maloom tho nahi padega na???"

He replied, "Maloom pada tho kuch nahi hoga yaar, CAT dene nahi denge. Parents ko complain karenge."

When you are a bit hight, even these stupid jokes seems distinctly real.

We left the hotel at 2:10 pm, My palms holding a handful of mouth-freshner, courtesy Ambience.

I ran out called out a rick, "90 Feet road".

He just nodded, these mumbai rick driverd have loads of attitude.

"Ronak chal beth andhar" the panic stricken me shouted.

He sat and we left the place, he got down mid-way, I continued my 3 min journey towards Thalur Polytechnic.

It wat 2:25 when I reached, on general days its crowded with weired styled young boys and gurls and some with their college uniforms!!! But it was deserted at 2:30 and it added to my anxity.

"Kidhar" asked the watchman.

"CAT" I replied.

"Jaldi bhago, 2nd floor" he said as I began running.

Once at 2nd floor, I was much more relaxed as there were many aspirants like me, correction, obviously not like me, much more serious and not at all drunk.

I made a concious attempt to not to open my mouth, even though I had around a kg of Mouthfreshner i didnt wanna take any chances. So I kept mum and just followed the line.

They asked me to keep my bag in a seperate room and asked me to keep my cell in a plastic bag and checked me throughly.

After this 30 min process I was allowed in my room. I went in they collected my hall ticket cross-verrified with the my id proof, took my pic, where I opened my eyes widley and tried to give a smiling face without a smile, how?, even I dont know - I was drunk.

The pic was taken, I was allotted a system and a laminated guide jotting all the points indicating that no one should be drunk in the premises, as if it were a holy land.

I went in to pee thrice before they disallowed everyone to do so at as the exam was about begin. Even though you are high that sensation remains prevellant all the time.

The fed in the crediantials and started the exam, I started off by logging into the tutorial and finally I began the one and only CAT.

Q1. If there are 3 vessel, each of which contains same amount of three different chemicals and 1/3rd of A is put in B; and 1/5 of B is put in C. How much quantity of A does C have???

A. Bla Bla

B. BLah Blah.

C. Bla Bla Bla

D. Ba Ba Blak Sheep...

Thats wat happenes when u r drunk in a paper.

Anyways, it wasent that bad.... I solved the sum putting a 3 bla's in B and taking one Bla in the C and marking the Ans as 'D'.

It continued this way when another wave hit me in middle of exam....My eyes began to droop as the screen in front swrilled around.

Although that didn't last long it was surely a shocker....may be thats why my paper went that good, cause I didn't realise it go by...lol.

I solved even though I was not prepared, I was aware of the negative markings but was attempting most of the Q's as I was happy- just happy for no reason at all.lol.

150 min later there was a pop up saying "Time Ended", I put my head up after a long time and was releived to know that I could go to the loo soon, but to my dismay many people had started their test late hence their timer still showed 15 whole minutes and as per the CAT guidelines I had to wait for them to finish, In 15 min my bladder could have burst and we could have celebrated 29/11 the next year, In the memory of the great Aspriant who for the sake of others paper completion scarfised his bladder, yuch!.

Once the last pupil completed his paper I ran out towards the loo and releived me of all the beer, aaaah...its such a wonderful feeling...ha ha (gurls please dont run your imagination more...and guys who are doing so please come out of the closit.)

There I was washing my face re-living the CAT in my mind and thinking of how it actually went, I was content as I had thought much horrible Q paper haunting me. So with a blissful feeling both due to CAT and beer I came out and went on my way home, belling the CAT for the first time of my life....

I am Shri...

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

How I belled the CAT…

Friday, September 18, 2009

Chao

Friday, September 11, 2009

Ooow...

Where are you!!!

My Dearest Neetu Pandey...

Waiting for my love...

Marriage....

Followers

Blog Archive

About Me